dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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