I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
