My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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