he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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