Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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