I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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