She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
