apparently the secret to your success is patron
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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