It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
