I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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