You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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