he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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