Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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