HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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