ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
