My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
