At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
