Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
