She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
