yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
