Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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