i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
