So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
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