I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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