We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
