I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This baby is an asshole
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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