I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
