would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
