can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
