I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i came on her dog
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
