did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
