I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
