Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
