I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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