Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize
