Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Such a big mess for such a small penis
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
