hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The adults are the big ones right?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
