I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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