In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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