I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
