people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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