I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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