I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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