You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize