So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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