I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize