I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I could make wine with my vomit
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
