We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
