Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
