Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize