try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
