Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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