So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
