smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he fucked my hip out of place.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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