i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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