addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
