i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
