I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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