Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
