you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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