Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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