I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
His nipple licking is glorious
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