oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She's the barista slut.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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