so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
