the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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